BREAKING: Criminal misconduct found by election congressional committee

BREAKING: Reports say that the Joint Special Committee on Presidential Election Bribery has come to the conclusion that criminal misconduct occurred during the last presidential election, specifically during the House election that elected President Rick Canth (Cons.-D7). It is unknown who committed the misconduct, what consequences there will be, or if the president was involved intimately with the bribery.

UPDATE 1: Senator Alexandra West (Lib.-D1), senatorial chairwoman of the Joint Special Committee on Presidential Election Bribery, issued the following statement at a Senate press conference, of which House chairman Jackson Canth (Cons.-D2) was peculiarly absent:

“It is the conclusion of the committee that criminal misconduct occurred during the House election that elected President Richard Canth. Having spoken to and interviewed many witnesses, the overall claims of bribery by then-Secretary Canth’s campaign have been proven correct and have been corroborated by testimony from quite a few who understand the details of the affair. We have recommended the indictment of two campaign members from the Canth campaign in response to the incident. President Canth, according to the information presented, did not participate directly in the misconduct, nor did he order the misconduct to occur.”

— Senator Alexandra West (Lib-D2), senatorial chair for the Joint Special Committee on Presidential Election Bribery

There was a sigh of relief at the presidential mansion as this was announced. This means that President Canth will not face impeachment for the bribery, considering there are no legal grounds to do so at the moment. However, it’s now been proven that President Canth was illegitimately elected as president, and that will likely be a part of the campaign and may sink him.

UPDATE 2: President Rick Canth (Cons.-D7) issued the following statement:

“I would like to thank the members of the Joint Special Committee on Presidential Election Bribery for their service in the assurance that Panem politics remains clear and transparent, ensuring that politicians remain public servants, not dictators. As mentioned, I did not participate in this bribery and was not aware of the actions performed until the information was released today. I would infinitely like to apologize to the nation of Panem and to my opponents in the last election for the actions of these two campaign workers. My intention was to run a fair and free election campaign, not buy my way into the presidency. Now that I am in here, however, I fully intend on serving my full term faithfully to finish the job that I began. Panem deserves a steady government and that is what I will provide.” — President Richard Canth (Conservative-D7)

President Canth handled the issue with dignity and grace, even with the fact that this leaves him rather unpopular. However, though he ruled out a resignation because of his unfair and illegal election, he certainly sounded as if he was considering forgoing reelection because of the events.

Meanwhile, Vice President Dale Wilson (Lib-D4) refused to comment on the events, stating “it is not my business to condemn the President. He did not commit a crime and will continue to serve Panem. Let’s move on to more pressing matters rather than attempting to make his life a hellhole.”


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